The Power of the Spoken Word: Integrating Existential Laws into Counselling for Personal Breakthrough
The Power of the Spoken Word: Integrating Existential Laws into Counselling for Personal Breakthrough
In the complex tapestry of human existence, many individuals grapple with questions of purpose, fulfilment, and identity, often finding themselves at a crossroads that seem difficult to navigate. Such existential dilemmas can become particularly pronounced in midlife as one evaluates past choices and struggles to envision a fulfilling future. Integrating existential principles into counselling sessions can help clients develop clarity and a stronger sense of agency, enabling them to create the lives they want.
This article explores how the foundational existential law of the power of the spoken word can be integrated into therapeutic work, using the case of Sangeeta, a 42-year-old woman in the throes of a midlife crisis, as an example.
Sangeeta’s Story
Sangeeta, a mother of two children under the age of 12, finds herself at a pivotal moment in her life. Having gone through a divorce five years ago, she is now in a new relationship but remains unsure about its future. Professionally and emotionally, she feels incomplete and unfulfilled. She often questions what she aspires to beyond motherhood, yet she struggles to manage her time and emotions. Her hesitation, second-guessing, and lack of clarity suggest an ongoing existential crisis.
As a therapist, I also consider that women in their early 40s frequently begin experiencing perimenopausal symptoms, which can exacerbate emotional instability and confusion. Research shows that hormonal changes during this phase can influence mood, memory, and self-esteem (Schmidt et al., 2004). Sangeeta’s reflective nature and openness to therapy offer a strong foundation, but her temperament indicates hesitation, self-doubt, and a lack of trust in herself, symptoms likely linked to both her upbringing and her current life stage.
Step One: Reconnecting with the Body
Before delving into a deeper psychotherapeutic approach, I prioritise helping clients establish a connection with their bodies. The body often carries unprocessed emotions and can serve as an anchor for clarity and stability when accessed mindfully. For Sangeeta, this involves grounding exercises such as deep breathing, gentle movement, or dance and body awareness practices of her choice. These techniques not only help her manage emotional turbulence but also create a foundation for exploring her inner world and for our therapeutic process as we go.
When we start a session, if we sense a mental activity of doubt and disturbance, we often commence with a short body scan and move into our emotional and mental state just to acknowledge where she is at. We explore her childhood and her current situation at home and in her love life, and I notice a main theme emerge. This one recurring theme that emerges is her sense of inability to follow through on simple commitments and her unfulfilled potential.
Through dialogue, she reveals that she frequently makes promises to herself and her children, small commitments like organising family activities or completing personal projects, but rarely follows through. This pattern reinforces feelings of inadequacy and distrust in herself, perpetuating her sense of being stuck. She also notices how her connection with her children is fraying, as they often feel disappointed and upset, which perpetuates her guilt and anger, although she blames her kids for not understanding her, they are ultimately excuses she uses, and she is angry at herself.
I typically take an intuitive approach in my work, but I’ve found that clients are often more inspired and motivated when guided toward a higher value or principle rather than diving straight into their trauma. In Sangeeta’s case, I believe she will find it easier to embrace and activate these principles in her life right now rather than focusing on rehashing past dynamics. Addressing those deeper issues can be left intertwined with a motivating force that can energise the process.
Step Two: Introducing the Universal Principle of Creation—The Power of the Word
At the core of Sangeeta’s journey lies the universal law: the power of the spoken word, the principle that views speech as the first stage of creation. Words are not just tools for communication but creative forces that connect internal thought with external reality. When thoughts are spoken aloud, they gain form through sound energy and assigned meaning. They are often heard by others, and thus, participation and creation in the outer world commences, becoming the first layer of a contract with the universe and signalling an intention to act. Speech weaves the fabric of manifestation, aligning the inner and outer worlds.
This principle is beautifully illustrated in the biblical metaphor from Genesis: “And God said, ‘Let there be light,’ and there was light.” The creation begins with speech, as words bridge intention with action. For humans, the alignment of intention, will, and action empowers us as co-creators of reality. Leaders and visionaries inspire us not only with their words but also through their ability to align those words with meaningful action, creating trust and influence. Conversely, failing to follow through on spoken commitments disrupts trust—not only with others but also within us—undermining our ability to manifest and perpetuate cycles of self-doubt and inaction (May, 1983).
Kabbalistically, the Hebrew root word for “speak” and “thing” is the same: ד.ב.ר (D.B.R.). We all know the term 'Abra Kadabra' when performing magic tricks, Hebrew for 'I create as I speak'. This profound connection implies that speech and creation are intrinsically linked. In Hebrew, dabar (דבר) means both “to speak” and “a thing,” reflecting the belief that what we speak has the power to materialize into form. Words, therefore, are not merely sounds but vessels of creative energy, capable of shaping reality. This principle underscores the sacred responsibility of speech, as our words actively transform intangible thoughts into tangible existence, bridging the spiritual and physical realms.
For Sangeeta, this misalignment is evident in how her unfulfilled promises impact her relationships, particularly with her children. Therapy invites her to see how this pattern translates into her daily life and how it affects her physiology and psychology. She learns to track these feelings in her body as well as acknowledge their impact on the physiology and psychology of her kids, which are most dear to her.
Often, we don’t realise the impact of stepping out of alignment with these universal laws and how matter organises according to this misalignment in a way that creates pain and suffering. We might think we are just confused or unsure, or maybe next time, it will happen and that it’s not a big deal, but what happens metaphysically and physically has an enormous impact.
We cannot change without feeling the pain of our misalignments therefore, we explore the impacts on all levels with gentleness and understanding. She also begins to see how breaking this cycle can restore trust and harmony within her family’s dynamic and is extremely motivated.
Past Influences: Speaking Is Dangerous
I propose that the challenges we face in life are often chosen for us as opportunities to grow. We are placed in circumstances that externalize what we subconsciously cannot yet perceive but deeply need to address. I explain to Sangeeta that life unfolds as a series of growth phases, offering us the chance to use our human experiences as tools for conscious development—if we choose to engage with them in this way. Together, we explore her history through the lens of when and how the first opportunities to uncover deeper layers of her being began to emerge.
For Sangeeta, the roots of her misalignment with the power of her words were first observed in her upbringing. She grew up in a household where her voice was stifled. Her father had the final say in decisions, and her mother was passive, reinforcing traditional norms where women were discouraged from expressing opinions. As a child, Sangeeta learned to second-guess herself, suppress her desires, and mistrust her intuition. She also experienced cultural pressures to conform, such as excelling academically or marrying immediately after college, which left her feeling as though she had no agency over her life.
This history created deeply ingrained patterns of self-doubt and fear of failure, which severed her connection to her voice. Therapy plays a crucial role in unravelling these patterns, helping Sangeeta process the emotional wounds tied to her past and fostering a compassionate understanding of how her environment shaped her beliefs.
The Therapeutic Process: Bridging Mind, Body, and Spirit
Therapy not only addresses Sangeeta’s emotional and psychological wounds but also reconnects her to the creative potential of her words. By combining therapeutic techniques with metaphysical principles, such as the power of the spoken word, we create a holistic approach that bridges the gap between her physical and spiritual psychology.
Spiritual psychology, unlike traditional psychology, expands beyond the body and mind to include the metaphysical realm, where universal laws govern the interconnectedness of all things (Wilber, 2000). Misalignments in these universal principles, such as a lack of integrity between words and actions, can cause severe fractures in one’s reality. Therapy helps clients like Sangeeta realign these principles by addressing both the lower realms of existence (mind and body) and the upper realms (consciousness and spirit). This integration fosters lasting growth for both the individual self and the spiritual being.
Sangeeta learns that honouring her word is not just about keeping commitments but a powerful way to align her inner desires with outer reality. Small but consistent actions—such as promising and delivering on family time or personal projects—help her rebuild trust in herself and create a sense of harmony within her environment.
Aligning Intentions, Will, Words and Actions
True creation requires alignment between desire, will word and action. Words without desire and commitment are hollow, and good intentions without the will to act lead to stagnation. This Misalignment perpetuates self-doubt, frustration, anger, blame, and self-defeating thoughts, as Sangeeta experienced. However, when these elements are harmonised, we become powerful manifestations, creating meaningful change in our lives.
For Sangeeta, this alignment begins with small, actionable commitments. She sees her spoken promises, whether to clean the pantry or spend quality time with her children, as sacred acts of love to create what she wants. Therapy helps her rebuild her capacity for this alignment using attachment to higher principles as a motivating force for evolution. This is something many people yearn for often unknowingly.
How Therapy and Universal Principles Work Together
By integrating universal principles, such as the power of the spoken word, with therapeutic techniques, clients gain a holistic path to transformation. Universal principles empower individuals to see themselves as active participants in the creation of their reality, while therapy addresses the emotional and psychological barriers preventing them from fully embodying this wisdom. This dual approach creates harmony between the physical world of mind and body and the metaphysical realm of consciousness.
For Sangeeta, this integration has been life-changing. Therapy helps her process the doubts and fears rooted in her upbringing, while the practice of honouring her word empowers her to create new patterns of trust and consistency. She now embraces her ability to manifest her desires by committing to more challenging goals, such as pursuing a degree and saving for a family holiday overseas. These practices not only enhance her relationships but also restore her sense of fulfilment and agency.
References
1. May, R. (1983). The Discovery of Being. W.W. Norton & Company.
2. Schmidt, P. J., Rubinow, D. R., & Nieman, L. (2004). Perimenopause and mood: Clinical and theoretical implications. Annals of the New York Academy of Sciences, 1032(1), 27–40.
3. Wilber, K. (2000). Integral Psychology: Consciousness, Spirit, Psychology, Therapy. Shambhala Publications.
